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Dear Mark,

That was a very loud beep… I don’t even know if this is working. Mark! Mark! Are you there? Are you screening your calls? It’s Mom. We wanted to call and say we love you and we’ll miss you tomorrow. Cindy and the kids are here, send their love. Oh! I hope you like the hot plate! Just don’t leave it on, dear, when you leave the house! Oh and Mark! We’re sorry to hear that Maureen dumped you, I say c’est la vie! So let her be a lesbian! There are other fishies in the sea.

Sincerely, Mom.